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Unicorns Are People Too: Tips For Swinging With The Single Female
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Unicorns Are People Too: Tips For Swinging With The Single Female

Posted By Serendipity702     October 3, 2015    

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        Unicorns Are People Too: Tips For Swinging With The Single Female




As a single female, aka a "unicorn," I'm approached rather frequently by couples and singles looking for fun and frolic. While I appreciate and am flattered by the advances, there are a few things (okay, more than a few things), that sometimes get under my skin a bit. I don't purport to speak for all single females in the lifestyle, but sometimes I feel like people think that unicorns are no more than a piece of meat, dangling out there for all to use and enjoy, and that's not the best feeling. So, in the spirit of helpfulness, I thought I'd compile a quick guide for swinging with single females. Again, this is just from my perspective- everyone has their own individual likes, wants, needs, and desires, but this may be handy as a starting point.

 

First, when contacting a single female, it is probably best NOT to lead off with something sexual. Nothing makes me roll my eyes faster than when a couple or another single mentions playing or what they want to do to me sexually during the first message or exchange. How about a "hi, how are you?" I want to feel valued as a person, not just a toy for your amusement. So, take a bit of time to get to know me on a non-sexual level, at least for a few messages.  Compliments are a great way to break the ice, but don't go overboard with them, especially as it pertains to sex. Ask me about what I do for fun, my likes, my favorite things.  I am someone who enjoys relationship building and getting to know people first (I know not everyone is like this), so don't rush this process. It's not a race! 

 

Once we progress beyond the pleasantries and start to get to know each other, we may start discussing things of a more sexual nature. If we're at that point, that's totally fine, but don't go from 0-100 right away. Just like you wouldn't go straight for the pounding in a play situation, ladies need a little foreplay and warm up first when it comes to conversation. Remember, at this point, we're still pretty much strangers. So while you might want to tell me all about how you want to devour my kitty and stuff me with your hard dick- restraint is key.   Let the flow of the conversation dictate the pace. And, because it can't be mentioned enough, a word about pictures. I love pictures-  taking them, sending them, and seeing them. But PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT surprise me with an unsolicited dick, kitty, or action shot. If I want to see that, I will certainly ask for it. BUT if I happen to open my messages at the gym, grocery store, or anywhere else and BLAM, there's a picture of someone's privates... No Bueno.

 

As a side note, for some reason, many people think that single females in the lifestyle are either desperate and/or down for whatever. I'm sorry to disappoint, but that's usually not the case.  Speaking for myself, I'm able to get sex pretty easily, if that's what I want. Most of us are intelligent, attractive, well-rounded people, and we didn't start our lifestyle journeys out of desperation or from a lack of sex. I am not attracted to the lifestyle just to get easy sex with random people- that's not my aim. I like the freedom of it, the sexiness, the openness, the flirtation. So approaching me as if I should just be happy to get an offer probably isn't going to get you very far. 

 

Back to the process! After some connection has been established, you may suggest meeting in person. A meeting in a public place, like a restaurant, bar, or lounge to see if there is in-person chemistry works best for me. Suggesting that I come to your home or hotel room for a first meeting will likely be declined.  I always go to these "first dates" without expecting to play- I hate feeling pressured. If our chemistry is just AMAZING and the logistics work out, then perhaps more will happen on that first date, but more times than not, it won't. Anyway, sometimes half the fun is in building anticipation! 

 

Unfortunately, sometimes the chemistry just isn't right. Perhaps your unicorn wasn't what you expected, or you  (and/or your partner) weren't what she expected. That's okay. Just be kind and respectful- whether you are the one conveying that things won't go further, or the recipient of that information. Don't force the issue, don't get upset, and please, don't try to pressure her into doing something she's not fully comfortable with. Likewise, if you and your partner aren't on BOTH on the same page and BOTH totally on board, do NOT try to play regardless. It's uncomfortable for everyone to get caught in the midst of someone else's drama. 

 

Enough of the negative. Let's say all has gone well. We've connected via message, we've had some great conversations, things have graduated to sexy talk, we've exchanged pictures, we've met in person, had some drinks,  laughs, and great chemistry. Awesome! Now comes the time to take the next step and set up a play date. Think of it as you would any other date, and again, remember- we're not going 0-100 here! Some drinks, maybe a light meal, and something to set the mood and ease your unicorn into things would be great.  If you're going back to your house, make sure that it is clean, and that it has all of the items she'd need. One of my best experiences with a couple was one where we went out for drinks, then went back to their place, where we had a little snack and started to make out a bit. We moved into the bedroom, and they showed me to the bathroom so we all could freshen up a little before playtime.  They had everything I could think of- towel, soap, washcloth,  a new toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, deodorant- they obviously were not new to this! 

 

Hopefully, I don't have to educate anyone on the intricacies of sexy time, so I'll just share a few words of wisdom here. Your unicorn is a guest, and she should be treated as one- with courtesy, respect, and as though you are happy and excited to have her there. Ask about her likes/dislikes, her rules or boundaries, and include her in whatever your fun time entails. You want her to have a pleasant experience, so hopefully she'll return! 

 

Dealing with things after you've played with your unicorn can be tricky sometimes. Your urge may be to say something like, "that was fun," right after things are over and show her the door so you can snuggle with your significant other or go to sleep. Please don't do that. You'll leave your unicorn feeling cheap, used, and sad. This is not to say that she has to sleep over or cuddle with you all night, but give her a little time and attention after the action has concluded. She'll likely want to clean up a bit, and if she wants to leave right away, no problem, don't hold her hostage. Just make sure she knows how much fun you had, how you'd like to see her again (if you would) and show her some affection before she leaves. It feels really awful to have spent your time and shared your body with someone and then be discarded, so please be considerate. 

 

After your unicorn has departed and you're basking in the afterglow, remember to reach out to her the next day (or even the same night), to thank her for her company. Even if there is not a repeat performance, I always think fondly of the people who really treated me with kindness and respect. That's what this is all about, right? Respect.  Happy unicorn hunting! 


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  • KaitlynBoelke
    KaitlynBoelke  · Jan 17
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  • 3rdparty
    3rdparty  · August 6, 2016
    Awesome read. I didn't know I was a unicorn until I got here lol so naturally I'm trying to find out everything I can before I go any further
  • Serendipity702
    Serendipity702  · December 24, 2015
    <p>Hmm.. Unicorns who "come and run" could be thinking a few different things. They could actually think that you don't want them to stay, that you'd prefer that she'd leave asap. Or, perhaps she was just in it for the sex....  more
  • Serendipity702
    Serendipity702  · October 20, 2015
    <p>Thank you!!! </p>