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Swinging: WHY is this so Hard!!! By Boss Blaque
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Swinging: WHY is this so Hard!!! By Boss Blaque

Posted By My Wild Lifestyle     November 12, 2016    


Now that you've decided to swing, I strongly suggest that you take your time and pace yourself. You will have some great, and some not so great swing experiences. Try to manage your expectations, so that you have less disappointments, and more fun times. Here are a few things to bear in mind...

Finding other swingers to play with....
You actually have to put in the work to meet other swingers. Umm, happy horny swingers don't fall out of the sky and into your lap. Most swingers don't live down the street. You will have to join a swing site or two and actually get out and hunt for what you want. In my opinion, knowing what you want, will make it that much easier to find what you want. How will you identify, bi, straight, single, couple? How will you swing, full swap or soft swap? Will you opt to only partake in threesomes, if so, what kind of threesome, MFM, FFM or FMF? There are cyber swingers, curious about the lifestyle, posting nudes and videos, but never actually swing. There are those who only play at clubs. There are those who only play in private. Some swingers are kinky, and others are downright vanilla. What kind of swinger are you?

They come in all ages, shapes and sizes...
Most swingers are not built like Greek gods and goddesses... they look really average. Most couples have one member who is hot, and the other is not. If you are lucky, you will find a couple where both partners are fucking hot! That is the exception, not the rule. Swingers are everyday people, you will see cellulite, stretch marks, c-section scars, wrinkles, sagging skin, etc.
Gorgeous with their clothes on, doesn't mean fabulous with their clothes off. There are young swingers, there are old swingers, and there are some in between. There is no one look, or age range. Figure out where you would like to fit in. The younger swing crowd, from what I've seen isn't really about the core lifestyle.They usually don't take the time to learn the rules of the lifestyle. Yes, there are swingers under 30, who know how to handle themselves. Hell, there are swingers over 35 that need to be checked on their bullshit too.

Time is of the essence...
Take your time, swing is a process. Get to know the people that you will possibly play with. Text, talk, meet and greet. Do all of that long before you ever have sex. Feel them out and figure out who they are as people before you all get naked. Build a rapport with them, before entering a hotel room with them. I usually avoid playing on the first meet. If we are at a play party, well, different rules apply. But, in general, don't let the desire to get laid, cloud your judgment. Don't rush into anything that you may regret later.

Ask as many questions as possible...
Ask questions... lots of questions. How do you play? What are your likes and dislikes, do you smoke, are you a heavy drinker? Do you have to be drunk or high in order to play? If you have children, do you have reliable child care? Do you maintain a pet friendly home? Do you use toys? Do you get involved or do you prefer to watch? Is kissing allowed? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What have your experiences in the lifestyle been like? How do you interpret swing in general? Are you full swap? What are your non-negotiable hard limits? What are your soft limits, that you would eventually like to try? What are you go to preferences? Do you photograph or videotape your activities? Do you post your photos or videos on social media? Most importantly, for every question you are willing to ask... you must be able to answer are well.

Now that your eyes have glazed over... take a breath and let what you've just read sink in. Lower your expectations of your fellow swinger. They are not perfect, neitther are you.Potential play partners will flake from time to time, and so will you. Life happens. Their photos will not always match what you see, when you finally meet them in person. Think about it, do you post your worst photos online? I didn't think so. Are you physical perfection... ok, neither are they. Do you fuck like a porn star... don't expect them to. Some play partners will blow your mind, some will make you wonder, why did I leave the house for this bullshit?

Here are a few scenarios as to why asking the right questions can be crucial... got pet allergies, afraid of dogs? You're going to need to know if your host has pets before you agrew to play at their home. In recovery or work at a job where you are randomly tested for drugs... that 420 crowd or that couple that drinks heavily may not be the right fit for you. If there is a morality clause in your employment contract... guess who may get fired for having sexually explicit pics/videos online? Got kinks and fetishes, let other swingers know. If you scare them off, or turn them off, don't get offended. I'm into BDSM, I keep it out of swing sessions.

Welcome to the world of swing, also known as, the sex Olympics. You may think that swing is all about readily available wet pussy and hard cock. And, you my dear are absolutely right! There is a plethora of hard dick and sweet pussy for you to choose from, you just have to find it. Who's hosting, who's available, who's in your local area, and who's equally interested in you?

Swingers may be sexually free, but that doesn't mean that they will all want sex withyou.They may be open minded and happy to share their partner, but that doesn't mean that you have carte blanche to do whatever you choose. Don't touch without permission. Don't invade other swingers play session. Keep your voice down. Don't assume that eye contact equals consent to join in. Ask both parties for permission to join in, etc.

My dear swinger, we will all have disappointing moments in the lifestyle. I've personally taken a step back, and get out far less than I used to. Building a network of people to play with is my main swing goal. Quality over quantity. Better events, with serious players. My mentor has been scolding me for months about my vetting process. I've finally taken heed to his advice. That pain in the butt was right, quality over quantity.Do not let your desire to play and party cloud your judgment regarding who you play and party with. Take your time, good swing experiences are worth the wait.

Happy Hunting,


  • Sort By
  • FitCouple2see
    FitCouple2see  · April 12, 2018
    Exactly Quality OVER Quantity!!!
    MR HARDAGEN  · June 17, 2017
    Words to swing by
  • Mala
    Mala  · November 27, 2016
    I'm speechless. Now that I'm ready to join in (4 years later) i will take this advice. Kudos.
  • Voss
    Voss  · November 13, 2016
    Thank you.