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The Vetting Process
    • Last updated December 1, 2017
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The Vetting Process

Posted By HusbandsMistress     January 7, 2017    


Good Day,

 I just wanted to spend some time talking about how my wife and I select qualifed couples to play with. What I'm about to say applies to our situation and can be applied to yours if you like, or keep what you have in place. These guidlines may be subject to change as we gain more experience in this lifestyle as well.

My wife and I have trouble finding a decent couple to hang with even in our “vanilla” life, a cool couple just to play spades with. Even couples that we've been friends with since High School have disappointed us by doing silly shit like storming off in different directions after a bad argument. Did I forget to mention that we were at dinner on a double date? My wife and I were like "Hello, we're on a double date, did you forget about us?" It's not easy finding a perfect match in regular life, let alone swinger life, people have certain wants. For example: You may want  someone cool and down to Earth, that enjoys conversation, who likes playing board games, who doesn’t smoke, is a good a dresser, who doesn’t live too far, who is attractive, who is clean and smells good (I don't think you should have to mention that last one though, lol).  Now multiply some of those attributes by 2, because you may want a couple. Do you see how much harder that got? (Double Entendre, lol)


We haven't even gotten to the fuckin part yet. Men will have expectations like: "She gotta have a fat ass, dick suckable lips, , suck dick good, suck dick at all (Yes they still make those, smh), let me cum in her mouth, have long hair, have short hair, be tall, be short" etc. Ladies expectations could be “I want him to have a big dick, know how to eat pussy, eat my asshole, be tall, be willing to let me fuck him in his ass with a strap on (I know, I know fellas. I went there), must be able to pick me up, spank me like  50 shades of gray, be into BDSM, not be into BDSM, love poetry, love the movie the "Notebook”, love to read, love puppies" etc.  The point is, the more things we add to these lists the harder it is to find them.  When you do find, the right fit it’ll be worth it, be patient. Our vetting process is like this. First, we look at your profile and read how you

articulate yourself in the description, then we look at pics. We can't 100% judge you off of the lack of a well written profile description, maybe you’re the greatest conversationalist in the world but you set up you profile in a hurry, then never got back to it. The first strike has been struck against you though. I'm looking for similarities, likes and dislikes. There's no point in reaching out to someone that clearly stated she's looking for a single man, that's a waste of time,unless you're just seeking friendship. Once we've established the profile and the pics are nice we send a friend request to be able to see more pics. Once the friend request is accepted, we may or may not initiate further conversation based on what's going on with us (I.e.: wife was pregnant). We don't want to waste your time if we can help it. If we initiated conversation on MWL by sending you a message, that usually means that we've already established
that we’re physically attracted to you. OK next step in the vetting process... Big lead up. CONVERSATION!! We communicate through MWL messages to get to know you. I'll say it again.... Big lead up. GET TO KNOW YOU. (Alot  of people skip this part, that's why you're frustrated, impatient, Smh). If we establish that we like the conversation, we'll invite you to a separate medium of communication, email, phone convo, Kik, What'sapp etc. This is a good sign. This means that we like your conversation so much that we want to do it outside of MWL (Which we love by the way, hats off to the creators and administrators). So now that you've made it directly to our phones we will probably be exchanging more pics. (You can do what you want, but you'll be getting vanilla pics from us. I'll accept nudes from you though if you still want to send them.) Remember, we're still trying to establish that you're not crazy and if we want to go to that next level. OK let's say you've made it to the next level. We've chatted and exchanged pics enough that we want to see you and get to know you in person aka the meet and greet. Notice that I said “see you and get to know you in person” and not see you and get to fuck you in person (although that will cum eventually if you get through this process). Once we get scheduling differences out of the way we'll establish a friendly place to meet, hookah lounge, restaurant, etc. Somewhere that we can talk. This is where you are trying to impress the other couple or single etc. Dress Sexy (Vanilla sexy, not swinger sexy). Lmao don't show up to the movie theatre in a thong, heels with a red gag ball in your mouth, Lmao. Over the course of the evening there will probably be light flirting and good conversation, we're getting to know each other. Just because we did this does not mean we're fucking. There's
plenty of time for anyone to do or say something to "turn someone else off" to the point of being disinterested. Now, let's assume the night went well, there may be some light touching, rubbing on legs or back, or even kissing (depending on how much alcohol my wife has had, not guaranteed though.) I'm not saying fucking can't happen on this night, but it hasn't yet. Usually what happens is we say goodnight and leave. This next part is very important; this next part is also something that is left out of the unsuccessful swinger’s repertoire. I COMMUNICATE with my spouse about how the night went. Asking questions like "What did you think of her? What did you think of him? How did you feel when he said……...?   Did you like when she said...? Did you like the way he/she kissed you (If applicable)?  Do you want to meet them again? Could you see yourself fucking them? At this point we already know whether we want to fuck or not, usually. Be patient and you'll avoid most bad experiences. FYI this process sometimes can be sped up, if we met at the nude beach, or a swinger’s resort like Hedonism.  In those places, we may have spent the whole day getting to know each other, while naked and under the influence of alcohol. That tends to speed up the process. A place like Hedonism speeds the process as well, you could meet someone at breakfast and be fucking them by later that evening or the next day or later in the week depending on your speed. Happy Hunting. This is my first Blog hope I didn't disappoint. Shout out to #BossBlaque #Largo707, I consider ya’ll Blogmasters.- Tony


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  • Redfoxen72
    Redfoxen72  · October 27, 2019
    Thank you for this , we are casual about it but wow do people flake a lot
  • Loviestpatrick3
    Loviestpatrick3  · October 3, 2019
    On point.
  • ikeandlee
    ikeandlee  · October 3, 2019
    Great Read! I love this process... Anyone who disagrees, good luck out there!
    PRETTYDOMINICA  · February 19, 2017
    We so agree.